Friday, February 9, 2007

magnetic north pole

Lately I've been feeling like I am the magnetic north pole for all bizarro freaks in NYC. There are far too many incidents at the gym recently to list them all. I suspect that I may be walking into a parallel universe every time my bar code is scanned at New York Sports Club. The other day I was next to some guy on the treadmills. We were both running along, listening to our respective ipods. All of the sudden, he starts yipping and air punching really fast, then he counted down from 10. But he did it loudly. And in German. W.T.F.

This evening on the subway some guy calling himself, "Earth Angel" explained that he was created by god to watch out for the human race. He said he was 99% divine being and 1% human, and was here to look for the good in mankind. He said god told him to spread the word in the only two languages god speaks - English and Italian.

He also said that he couldn't look at human females because it would strike him blind. He asked us to avert our eyes - this didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Why would it matter if we saw him? To save his eyesight, he was holding a fluorescent orange folder in front of his face. There was an elaborate "Earth Angel" drawing he had done on white copy paper and glued on the outside which incorporated symbols from major world religions, and possibly a liger.

The craziest thing about all this is the guy didn't look all that nuts. He was definitely odd looking, but then again, so would anyone with a seriously groomed 3 inch fluffy mullet front, and locks flowing all the way down his back, all of which was dyed super-duper black. He was in his 40's or 50's, definitely clean and appeared to have a home - a home replete with hair grooming tools. Also, he wasn't asking for money, recruiting followers, or handing out fliers. He reminded me of the type of subway crazy you see in movies about NYC that are made by people who've never lived in NYC.

Most of the subway riders were laughing at him. It was one of those impromptu bonding moments that makes me think most folks are alright. The "Earth Angel" was completely unfased. He continued with his spiel.

When I got off the train, I had a little ditty stuck in my head:

Earth angel, earth angel
Will you be mine ?
My darling dear, love you all the time
I'm just a fool, a fool in love with you


Lizzie said...

Tag! You're it!

I read your blog all the time, so I thought I'd tag you in a meme :) Come to my site to see the rules!

MUDNYC said...

Ich lieben zie deutsch air puncher. All I know is ein, zwei, tre, zuppa from Oktoberfest. Power to the people!

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