Sunday, March 4, 2007

In my brain

There is something about the month of March that just seems so blah. I'm hungering to play outside. Yesterday was uncommonly lovely here outside, and did you catch the lunar eclipse?!? Gorgeous! Yesterday felt like parole from a winter of being cooped up. I probably feel this way more so because I've been plagued by some seriously awful migraines recently - waking up at 3am Friday morning all pukey and throbbing and disoriented. Yucky! I haven't had a seizure in a while, but thess migraines are putting a serious damper on things. They're happening more frequently, which means I need to go see my doctor, which probably means I'll need to surrender to a barrage of testing in scary machines, which means way less fun and mischief than normal. Apparently there is a link between epilepsy and migraines -the term is comorbidity, but I don't like the word morbid. Also, apparently epilepsy is only something that happens to geniuses, so there I go. I'd take a slightly lower IQ if it meant this crap would go away.

Not that I like whining and moaning about all this. It upsets me because I hate to miss work, which I did on Friday, and because its so exhausting. Literally, physically exhausting, like my brain needs to discharge and the only way to feel normal again is to go to sleep for a few or many hours. And I hate to not remember what I say or do, and not make sense when this happens because my brain is actually not working right and I apparently sound like I'm drunk or on drugs. I hate the little twinges of vertigo, the deja vu, the lightening bolt of pain through my left eye socket, and the throbbing behind my right ear that last only a couple of seconds, but let me know that in a couple of days I'm in for something big. Most of all, I hate that forewarning - spending days dreading what's heading my way. Woe is me.

It's been a rough week. There has been some really good stuff happening too, but right now I feel like licking my wounds. Maybe after a trip to the gym, there'll be some more positivity flowing through these veins.


CityMinx said...

Hey Sweetie!
I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad weekend. How about some sushi during Japanese Culture week to lift the spirits?

I'm sure we'll get some mischief going soon.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jessie Lee from Pittsfield--this is your neighbor--Kristen Gleason from Pittsfield--I recently ran into Liz T. from Pittsfield, and wondered what happened to people from the Pit. I've stumbled onto your knitting blog---it's so awesome to read! I'm glad to see that you seem to be happy. ...other than the seizures----I have epilepsy too.....that Elm Street Preschool really generated some "geniuses"
Take Care!